Spinning your tires? Release the brake!

I was walking through a park one day with a friend, enjoying a beautiful day when our conversation was interrupted by  the sound of a revving engine and flying gravel. When we turned toward the parking area we noticed a gentlemen struggling to reverse out of his parking spot. His front tires had dug impressive holes in the gravel and by the sound of his engine, he was becoming progressively more and more frustrated.

I wondered out loud,” How could he get stuck?” It was the middle of the summer and the gravel was dry. “I bet he has his brake on,” I guessed.

My friend howled at this suggestion. “No way! Surely he would have checked that right away.”

After a few more minutes of watching this poor guy spin his tires, we both realized that he needed some assistance. My friend went and knocked on the driver’s window – he was so intent on getting out of the hole he had dug for himself he didn’t notice our approach – and suggested,”Perhaps you should check your brake.”

Five seconds later, the red faced gentlemen easily backed out of the parking area leaving two lovely craters behind.

I think we have all been a tire spinner at some point in our lives. Probably not in the same way as the poor gentleman on that warm summer’s day, but I know I can think of times in my own life when I was trying so hard to accomplish something while simultaneously (and sometimes unknowingly) holding myself  back.  I think that we can also unwittingly do this to our children at times as well.

Consider how the following examples could help or hinder your child’s progress.

GAS PEDAL –

• investing in lessons/classes  as well as books and materials 
• spending time weekly driving to or attending and participating in classes

BRAKES –

• purchasing a less than adequate instrument for practice or providing an instrument that is in disrepair (piano that hasn’t been tuned, keys that don’t work, improper stand or seating)
• comparing your child to another child in his/her class or level
• failing to encourage, allow time for, or enforce practice time
• placing more importance on other activities (even if this is unintentional…eg. skipping a semi annual recital to attend 1 in 30 hockey games of the season)
• providing a noisy, busy and distracting environment for practice
• losing/misplacing/forgetting books or other materials needed for class or practice time

The “brakes” I have listed aren’t meant to be a slap on the wrist or a guilt trip. Parents are entitled to spend their money and their time where they see fit and it is really none of my business.  However, I have, in the past,  had conversations with parents who are frustrated with their child’s progress only to discover that one or more brakes were part of the equation.  Disengage the brake and suddenly, the student can progress at a rapid rate. 

So what if your child is progressing well and “brakes” aren’t an issue? You are ready for….

TURBO BOOSTERS-

• encourage participation in a festival or the completion of exams
• ask your teacher for links to online games/activities that reinforce learned concepts
• record your child playing at regular intervals so they can track their own progress
• offer incentives for reaching predetermined goals
• attend concerts with your child so they can witness the benefits of practice and perseverance
• celebrate accomplishments, invite friends and family to performances

We all want our children to succeed. If you feel your child is spinning their tires and just can’t seem to make any headway- check the brake.  A simple adjustment could make all the difference.

Happy music making!!